Are you working within your circle of influence?

One of the most useful lessons in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is the idea of the circle of concern and the circle of influence. We all have both circles. The circle of concern contains issues out of control. What is the economy doing? When will work release the new product? Why won't my relative do this or that? People who ask questions like this and spend most of their time worrying about these questions are responsive. I know people (sometimes myself) who spend most of their time investing their energy into these things. Their life is dictated to by external influences and usually the consequences are negative. Proactive people do the opposite, they focus on what they can do and take responsibility. 

Habit 1 Be Proactive is the exact opposite, you invest your time on those things that are within your control. You spend your time making sure your business or job is ready for the recession. Notice some people even in the mid 2000s couldn't find a job while others in this gloomy economy are being offered dream jobs! They do the best they can with the tools they're provided with. The person who works in the phone shop doesn't wait for the iPhone 5s to be released before trying to make a sale. Proactive people focus on the aspect of their relations they can control, what they do and accept and understand what they cannot.

It takes a high level of maturity to adopt this mindset, to do the work before being paid for it. To focus on what you can do rather than complain. It's very easy for us to spend time talking about what's wrong with the world, our family or our job. It takes a lot of maturity to be nice to the person who isn't nice to you. Or to work hard in a job your don't like. Equally they do this based on the principal of taking responsibility, some people work hard in a job where they are underpaid because they are worked centred and get their sense of importance from work. Or they constantly do nice things for a family member as a way to win approval. I would argue that when people do these things based on reasons other than the principal of taking responsibility they open themselves up to lose-win relationships. 

The principal centred person works hard at the job because they have taken responsibility for it. But the principal centred person knows the relationship has to be win-win. The work centred person gets a high from being the king or queen at work and has no ambition to go beyond the current job they are in. Equally the principal centred person who is dedicated to working within their circle of influence will do what they can to make a relationship work with a difficult parent, spouse or sibling, but they won't allow themselves to be abused or taken advantage of. Where the person who needs that validation from their relative or friend will allow themselves to be abused to give the other person what they want. 

In fact their is an interest phenomenon with the circle of influence. The more a person works in it the more expands. If people spend most their time in the circle of concern. Their influence shrinks. So my challenge for you in the next week is think about an aspect of your life you want to improve. It maybe your work life or a relationship. Come up with a list of things within your circle of concern, then a list of your circle of influence. Spend all of your time on the second list and watch it expand to encompass much of the the circle of concern. 

Circle of Influence vs. Circle of Concern